Scribblings from the hard shoulder of the Information Superhighway

The lunatics have taken over the asylum – 1

As I’ve said before, I’ve resisted from posting an unemployment blog as it would get too depressing – “I applied for 45 jobs this week and not one recruitment consultant has had the decency to acknowledge my application” but sometime life gets beyond the pale.

Seriously you couldn’t make it up!

A few weeks ago I went to the jobcentre for my fortnightly ritual humiliation. I

don’t actually get any benefits (as opposed to the builders and plasterers who leave their pick up trucks running on the yellow lines outside), but you have to jump through the government’s hoops. Anyway, I arrived on time at 9 am – early doors – and sat adjacent to where my files where located.

For the next seven minutes I sat listening to the highly qualified staff discussing what they should put on their time-sheets for the previous day, as they left early because of the ‘heavy snow’.

Finally I was called to my ‘advisor’ who observed that I’d applied for a lot of jobs, and then started to clatter away at the keyboard, then sigh and hit the backspace button repeatedly.

She then counted on her fingers a few times, typed something else and then, after another sigh, hit the backspace button and tried again. She looked at me and explained. “I need a new password, it’s all very secure.”

After about five minutes she said “leave it with me, and I’ll make sure I update your details.”

“No.” I explained. “I have to get an insurance form signed, so this needs to be updated.”

Another sigh, some jotting on a post-it note and some more clattering on they keyboard.

Finally, after another few minutes she was able to process my details.

“It’s all very secure,” she explained, “it needs a certain number of letters and numbers.”

“All very secure, providing you remember it tomorrow.” I observed.

“Oh, it’s okay.” She replield. “I’ve written it down!”

Seriously – you couldn’t make it up.

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