Scribblings from the hard shoulder of the Information Superhighway

The lunatics have taken over the asylum – 2

Several months ago I was called to see a Jobcentre ‘specialist’ as I had been unemployed for six months. This involved some pressure to take part in ‘back to work’ training to improve my general employability.

The list included Electrical Appliance Testing, Health and Safety and various other subjects. I though that Health and Safety training was most useful for my future and so I ticked the appropriate box.

A few weeks ago I was summoned to my local college, it’s half term so clearly they utilise the facilities for the long term unemployed.

I arrived early, loaned my pen to a fellow delegate who was clearly poorly prepared, and then (when he had returned my fountain pen) proceeded to complete the appropriate paperwork.

After a while the tutor came and looked and my form. She checked my experience… twenty five years IT Project Management experience… HR systems Implementation, Credit Card Security…

“Why are you here?” She asked.

“It’s a Health and Safety Course.” I replied. “I was told to attend.”

“This is a course to allow you to get a CSCS Card, which allows you to work on a building site.”

“But I’ve never been on a building site.”

At which point the woman sitting next to me piped up

“Nor have I. I want to work as a classroom assistant. AND I’ve travelled twenty five miles to get here.”

The tutor thought for a moment.

“Well, I don’t really think this course is appropriate for your needs… you don’t need to stay if you don’t want to.”

Once again… you couldn’t make it up… and sadly we’re all paying for this incompetence.